I remember reading this way back then. I can't believe that you re-posted this just when a friend of mine said something that reminded me of it. Uncanny.

An interesting model you have constructed here.A couple of things you might wish to consider concerning the relationship with the Falcon and HAN CHEWIE and LANDO.It is canon that lando first owned the falcon. It is canon that Han rescued chewie from imperial slavery.Aside from those salient points i beleave you have hit it on the head.

Wow! Very interesting, the next time I watch the movies they will seem completely new since I will be looking for the clues that piece this together.

While I loved this piece of work there were some flaws, one being your information on the Millennium Falcon. First, It was a stock freighter produced on an assembly line, so there were many like it in the galaxy during the time of Revenge, so that ship that was seen, wasn't it. It was owned by a series of smugglers, who made modifications to it when it was there, the .5 past light speed hyperdrive, the second fastest hyperdrive that ever existed, being one of them. Han Solo eventually won it from Lando Calrissian in a city sabacc tourament, a common card gambling game in the galaxy.

This is great, but chewie Was captured on Kashyyk when the empire was formed and used as slave labor until one imperial pilot named Han Solo rescued him, and began a life of smuggling.

This is a completely huge amount of nerd-spackle being heavily applied to all the gigantic holes in what is just plain, old, shitty, bad storytelling with ridiculous dialog.

Slap the Star Wars cock out of your mouth and get it through your geek skull that it is shitty science fantasy juvenile horseshit pandering with the sole exception being Empire Strikes Back.

You've hit it on the head. If I may paraphrase stuff Keith has said in person: "The official story has so many implausibilities and outright holes that I can't enjoy it any more. So I come up with a better one for my own entertainment"

The fun bit? He has several of these things. Not just Star Wars. We keep trying to persuade him to write them down...

"Obi-Wan, who saw Anakin's performance in the Pod Race, is nervous." Obi-Wan was on the ship at the time of the pod race. Qui-Gon was the Jedi who witnessed Anakin's victory.

I loved it, particularly the R2 bits that have him haggling with the Jawas and your descriptions of him and Chewie hiding behind the front men. Thank you.

el oh el to all you commenters who can't recognize a joke

It would be nice to think that it was that well thought out. It would be nice to think Chewie and R2 were secretly more than comic relief. Unfortunately, it's all too obvious they were just jammed into the prequels at whatever angle for nostalgia, merchandising or whatever. I like your version better.

Now someone has to make a subtitle translation of R2-D2's and Chewbacca's "lines" based on these assumptions. it would be hilarious.

organa isnt dead, he is at Yavin...and has become white. He and leah embrace. And what about that women that is always appearing?

I could have believed it till u said chewbacca was a rebel. The wookies were enslaved. Chewbacca was left on kasheek when yoda left. he would have no way of contacting yoda.

I feel like the only other major flaw here, besides anything chewie or falcon related (and those can be ignored is you only go with film canon) is that R2 resisted the jawas in the canyon when he gets captured.

First, 3P0 got captured first, so if r2's goal was to get captured then he did go the wrong way. Since 3P0 wasn't with R2 there was no reason to put up a show-not that there would've been anyways because 3P0 is too dense to figure anything out, and what the hell do the jawas care if R2 doesn't react, as I am sure there are plenty of droids with out the intelligence to freak out when they get captured.

Still, this can be fixed if we think that R2 knows where ben is (maybe he has a homing device or something, hacks into Tatooine GPS, as we can probably assume that any planet with enough civilization will have satalites in orbit.) and is heading towards Ben when he gets captured. Then out of bargaining or luck they end up at lar's homestead. Luck probably seeing as you would need even more luck for luke to have gotten to taking off his little control chip that the jawa's put on.

I will add that if Vader turned out this bad, Leia and Luke's offspring Or offsprings twins have more chances to bear twins after all) would be another one to worry about for plan C. And Chewie is all alone he cannot chop that many heads. So of course he throws Han and hopes the bad boy's charm melts the princess heart. And Han has been on a space alone for how long? I'm pretty sure he wouldn't need that much encourage.

You need to read a lot of books before you go speculating what happened. First off Chewie swore a life debt to Han for saving him from Han's former captain in the Imperial Navy and slavery. Second Lando originally won the Falcon gambling which Han later won. Third the Millennium Falcon is a a Correllian YT-1300 light freighter, it was not exactly rare but the Falcon was modified heavily. All that can be found in the Han Solo Trilogy. Yoda and Obi-Wan did not go into hiding for 20 years they did quite a bit and there are 11 books so far in a series called "Last of the Jedi." Tells the story of what happened after the most of the Jedi were killed. I have not read them yet but will be starting them soon. So you may want to consider reading some books if you want to know what happened between "Revenge of the Sith" and "A New Hope."

To use your own logic, you can't much much weight on something crafted by someone other than the writers of the films... (I.e. The guy who wrote this)

Some of this sounds reasonable, but most of it is patently false.

Bail Organa wiped C3PO's memory simply because he is a total blabber mouth and has no sense of, shall we say, propriety. R2 is simply a mechanic droid, the last thing anyone would ever suspect of being an intimate part of the resistance, hence the lack of need to wipe his memory.

Obi Wan's primary goal on Tatooine was simply to prevent Luke from falling into the Emperor's hands. But your other proposed theories do make sense.

The escape pod landing in the correct vicinity of Obi Wan and Luke is quite uncanny (unless you choose to chalk it up to it being the will of the Force) but to assume that R2 had somehow predicted this and managed to get "kidnapped" by Jawas is more than a long stretch. If he had "arranged" for this transport, why did the Jawas first sneak up on the droids and then forcibly disable them?

Obi Wan was not lying when he claimed he never owned any droids. R2 was originally the property of the military of Naboo, and 3PO was built and owned (originally) by Annakin Skywalker, then was in the service of Amidalla. Even while in the service of the Jedi, neither droid was owned by the order, much less an individual Jedi, who shunned material possesion.

Chewie. First off, Chewie was a slave for the Empire for the majority of the time between Revenge and A New Hope. He was never a rebel agent. Solo was an imperial cadet who saved Chewie and got booted from the Academy. This act by Solo created a bond or life debt between him and Chewie, which essentially means that Chewie owes Solo for the rest of his life. That's the reason he hangs around with Solo.

Just Brilliant

This is quite possibly the best fan "fiction" I have ever read. I found myself both gasping and laughing throughout. As a real life, hiding-in-plain-site, agent of the Rebellion, I applaud your work sir.
- C-3PO Weekends 2010

I've read this post in "morningstar" years ago. I'm glad it was re-posted. I remember the first time I saw it, read four times in a row. Star Wars became instantly better because of it. Geoge Lucas owes you it. Congratulations.

This is brilliant. Thank you.

I believe OBI-wan was back at the ship and not viewing the pod race that anakin participated in. Small error but thought i would point it out .

Interesting conjectures, but some points don't really make much sense in light of the Expanded Universe materials(novels, comics, etc. considered canon by Lucasfilm).

1.) Falcon on Coruscant in RotS - described in the novel Millenium Falcon, where the ship is involved in some secret mission for the Jedi (Han and Chewie not involved)

2.) The series of novels written by A.C. Crispin give the canonical backstory of Han and Chewie. Chewie does not show any indications of being a Rebel agent. Also, the abilities of the Falcon are shown to be modifications made by Han and Lando, and Han is shown to have entered the sabaac tournament and won and chose the Falcon without any involvement from Chewie.

You guys mentioning books, comics, cartoons, etc. do know that is not considered Star Wars canon? See:


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Wars_canon


STARLOG: "The Star Wars Universe is so large and diverse. Do you ever find yourself confused by the subsidiary material that's in the novels, comics, and other offshoots?"

LUCAS: "I don't read that stuff. I haven't read any of the novels. I don't know anything about that world. That's a different world than my world. But I do try to keep it consistent. The way I do it now is they have a Star Wars Encyclopedia. So if I come up with a name or something else, I look it up and see if it has already been used. When I said [other people] could make their own Star Wars stories, we decided that, like Star Trek, we would have two universes: My universe and then this other one. They try to make their universe as consistent with mine as possible, but obviously they get enthusiastic and want to go off in other directions."

The other aspect of the movies that is underdeveloped is why the Jedi Council, and Yoda in particular, would let Anakin fall to the dark side. Having spent years debating this with my brother and friends, here's what I think was/should have been happening behind the scenes.

Yoda knew the prophesy. Anakin was destined to bring balance to the force. Unfortunately, given the Jedi's influence over the Republic at that time, the Force was dominated by good, so balance would be bad. Yoda wasn't interested in balance, as it would mean massive loss of life, so he denied Anakin's training. Worse, his view of the future was tormented by the massive shift to evil that Anakin represented.

Nevertheless, Yoda could see a light at the end of the darkness. If Anakin fell quickly, things would get bad promptly, but would emerge in balance relatively soon. This appeared to Yoda to be the best way through the coming disaster. Let Anakin fall to the dark side, causing the Sith Lord to reveal himself and put his plan in motion, and trust that Anakin's destiny would eventually cause a balance to be achieved.

That is what happens at the end of episode six. Darth Sidious is destroyed, Darth Vader dies and the only Force sensitives left are a minimally trained Jedi Luke and an untrained Leia.

And it only took 40 years.

I envision the story for this scenario taking place on Degobah, possibly in the old tree, ultimately as a vision that Yoda has, where he sees the worst scenario come to pass. Anakin training to be a Jedi, ultimately falling to the dark side when Sidious kills Amadala and the twins, and Anakin in his grief destroys Sidious, himself and all Force users in the galaxy, laying waste to untold worlds. In this light, allowing Anakin to destroy the Jedi Order and join Sidious is a small price to pay for the multitude of lives saved and the hope that Luke can rebuild the Order after it's all over.

Gotta love canon with holes you can drive a Star Destroyer through. ;)

I also think it's the latter. Like the Oracle in The Matrix, Yoda says what Luke's need to hear, not "the future".

I will send more later, but I just wanted to clear things up about the Expanded Universe. While you all may think only the 6 movies are officially canon, that is simply not true. Star Wars has a professional historian (see http://www.wired.com/entertainment/hollywood/magazine/16-09/ff_starwarscanon) and an official Databank, listed on their Website. The Databank has all official canon and descriptions of characters.

There you can find Chewbacca (http://www.starwars.com/databank/character/chewbacca/index.html) among others and realize that some of the EU is actually canon. It confirms a number of the above comments.

This is all very well thought out. If only Lucas had actually put this much thought and planning into the prequels (and then let other people actually write and direct them) then they might not have been so incredibly awful and damaging to the legacy of the entire Star Wars series. But all this essay really does is put a giant spotlight on how massive the plot holes and discrepancies created by the prequels really were. I mean when a fan can write up something like this as a potential way to explain just two of the story problems created by the prequels then it can't be much more obvious that the films have failed in massive ways. I don't believe that there is any chance that anything even close to this kind of stuff was actually on Lucas's mind while he wrote the prequels (and if by some minuscule chance anything of this nature actually was intended then he failed 100% in conveying any of it in the films). That being, ever discrepancy that this tries to explain is easily explained by simple means, such the pretty obvious fact that Lucas is just an incredibly lazy writer and no longer cares about the integrity of the Star Wars story at all.

In reality it's pretty obvious that Chewbacca was in Episode 3 because Lucas inexplicably thought everyone would get a kick out of seeing him, but instead of finding a creative way of doing it that actually worked within the overall story he just shoehorned him in despite it making no sense. And Lucas came up with the "great" idea that C3P0 was actually built by Anakin, but either didn't consider or care about the story problems this would create given C3P0's role in the original trilogy. And yet instead of coming up with some creative solution that worked within or even (gasp) IMPROVED the overall story of the entire series he instead waited until the very end of the third movie and then just blew it off with one line of dialog that in itself left another gaping plot hole wide open, namely the R2D2 one that you discuss here. These are just a two examples of the lazy and HORRIBLE writing that makes the prequels pretty much unwatchable. I've loved Star Wars my whole life, but right now the only films I'll even considder watching are the original versions of the original trilogy. And the only one of those films that I think of as a truly great film is The Empire Strikes Back. Star Wars and Return of the Jedi are fun adventure movies, but Empire is the only one that completely works as a truly great and engrossing dramatic story. And now as an adult, and after all these years of special edition and prequel debacles, I have to say that I absolutely do not believe it's simply a coincidence that the one movie Lucas had the least control over (Empire) is the best of them BY FAR.

No offense I see that you are trying to be innovative but too many of the suggestions made are very very far fetched... A lot of Bantha fodder in this story if you ask me.

I can buy R2 being in on the whole secret of the Luke/Vader/Leia relationship and serving as a secret spy for the rebellion. In fact, that's probably how it's meant to be interpreted. I also agree with your assessment of Obi Wan and why he was so secretive about Luke's father. So everything you wrote up to the point where Chewie gets involved makes sense and fits in well with the canon.

But the whole idea of Chewie being a rebel spy undercover as a smuggler's sidekick is ridiculous, especially the part about him secretly owning the Falcon but letting Lando and Han "think" they owned it. It's just too far-fetched and completely unnecessary speculation.

I do, however, find it plausible that Chewie was sympathetic to the rebellion, obviously because of what the Empire did Kashyyyk, his enslavement, and his friendship with Yoda. Chewie and Obi Wan very likely did know of each other and that's why Chewie offered the services of the Falcon at the Cantina. But, beyond that, Chewie was not involved in the leadership of the rebellion, and especially in keeping the secret of Luke and Leia's relationship with Vader.

I took this for what it is: fun speculation. That being said, as a commentary on the movies it holds up outside sanything a book might say. However, I would be more thorough and suggest Chewie CONVINCED Han to go back to the Death Star, and he sets up a lot of what happens in Empire through his "repair" work on the Falcon.

I'm upset by how much sense this makes.

Ascended Fridge Horror, anyone? (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AscendedFridgeHorror)

Hate to break it to you, but most of the things you say here are wrong or flat out impossible. Now, I know that at the time you wrote this, quite a bit of the information that I have access to you didn't. I am in the process of reading every Star Wars Novel in existance (That is Canon) and have noticed quite a few flaws in the logic. If you ever have the chance, I would suggest cross-referencing your data with modern sources and coming up with a new explanation. Other than that I think you did a pretty good job and I appreciate you spending the time to try to sort this out with the information you had. Try reading the book Millenium Falcon by James Luceno if you ever get the chance, and Chewbacca could not have been a Rebel Spy because he was Forced into slavery until Han saved him then worked with Solo until... well he Worked with Solo until he died. Anyway, I would like to see an updated version of this information if you ever get the chance and I thank you for your effort.

When I saw R2 pop up in Amidala's retinue in Episode I, I've maintained (but not so nicely detailed) that the entirety of Star Wars canon is the story of a plucky astrodroid (nee hobbit) and the cloud of hapless adventurers that surround him from time to time.